We were visiting with a friend yesterday – someone we hadn’t seen in years. When he asked what I was doing, I mentioned our new book, Writing Your Legacy. “Can I show you something?” He quickly handed me a hardcover bound book titled, My Father. It was beautifully inset with photographs, news clippings, and short stories chronicling the life of his now deceased parent.

Our friend is not a professional writer. Nor is he a graphic designer. My Father is a work that came strictly from the heart. It is a family heirloom that will last for generations.

People still ask: How can I write my own story when I’m not a professional writer? I’m a doctor, a dentist, a trades-worker, a stay-at-home Dad, or an office worker. I haven’t written much of anything for years.

Research shows that expertise in any particular subject is gained after about 10,000 hours of effort. Seven years of focused experience will make you the go-to expert in your field. Here are two simple facts that say you can write your life story without being a professional writer.

1) You have put far more than 10,000 hours into living your own life. You are the expert in all things you.
2) You wrote essays and papers throughout your academic schooling. You passed. Those writing skills are exactly what you need to write your life story.

Professional writers write, rewrite, edit, and rewrite again until it’s right, and then they rewrite some more. It involves a revolving door of change and creativity, often against deadlines. We don’t need to do that.

At a writing seminar in St. Louis, I learned a valuable technique from Jason Womack. He travels the world telling folks how to be more productive with their lives. He suggests the 15 Minute Rule. Focus intently on what you are doing now, but only for 15 minutes. Then stop, do something else and go back to another 15 minutes of deep focus. He claims that you will get far more accomplished in just a couple hours of deep focus in a workday than you can otherwise. It certainly works for me. It’s the one way I can banish all the distractions from my writing.

So begin your life story project slowly. Ease into it just as you would when stepping into a hot bath. Soon you will luxuriate in the warmth of old memories. Let them soak for awhile. The words will follow.

Richard Campbell

There are many ways to write your life story. If you were to check out any number of books on the subject, you would find that the majority will show you how to write chronologically. When and where were you born? Where did you live and go to school? What were your favorite subjects? Write about your first job. Describe your wedding, your children, your hobbies, your retirement. It’s like reading a flow chart of your life. Start to finish, A to Z, all in order. Except that life doesn’t always work that way. It can sneak up on you unexpectedly.

Legacy writing is different. You write short two to three-page stories on life events revolving around core themes. These include the first significant turning point in your life, your family, your life’s work, your self-image, the male-female equation, your spiritual journey, and so on. There are ten core themes that encapsulate your life and an additional 25 themes that can enhance its telling. Leil Lowndes, internationally recognized author and speaker, calls them mini-memoirs.

In our book, Writing Your Legacy, Cheryl and I use these mini-memoir themes. Here’s one example. Let’s take the very first core legacy theme, Forks in the Road. This is what it looks like.

Forks in the Road

“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” Yogi Berra

Yogi Berra meant that life is full of choices and that we need to make them. We need to keep moving forward. Our lives are filled with turning points. These are the times when we take big or small steps forward. They can be our ah-ha moments when new understanding leads to change in the way we do something. They could represent something simpler: the day we first fell in love was the first day we learned what joy could do to body and soul. The phone call that offered the job we’d worked so hard to get. There may have been a trip abroad that forever changed our outlook on our life. Possibly you read a book that opened your eyes to new ways of seeing. Each of us has our own unique turning points. Major ones such as a graduation, marriage, or death of a loved one, are common to most. Less obvious ones also have their impact, sometimes much greater than expected. All of them change the flow of our lives in some way.

Probing Questions: Take time to review the following questions. Each one serves as a clarifying point that dips into your mind’s recesses, searching for long forgotten memories. Some questions will resonate more than others. Allow one or two of them to serve as the basis for your thematic story. Or they may lead to other observations that can power your story. They serve as guidelines only.

1) As a child, turning points often happen to us, as a result of our parent’s choices or circumstances. Was there an early turning point in your life that may have changed the course of
your life? What were the circumstances?
2) Education often opens doors and new opportunities for us. Was going to school a big step for you? Was school a haven or a hell for you?
3) Significant people in our lives affect us in many ways. What people most influenced your fork in the road experiences? Were they your parents, relatives, friends, or teachers?
4) Our life is a mix of events that are out of our control and others that we instigate. Did the many changes you have experienced in life happen ‘to you’? Or did you choose the road to
take? Do you see a pattern in your life?
5) Change results when a turning point is reached. Do you regard most of your fork in the road experiences as positive? Did any of the negative ones become positive after the fact?
6) Often when change and transition come too quickly in our lives we try to hold onto the past. What change did you struggle against? How did it turn out?
7) We may not always choose the ‘right’ road when we are faced with options. Have you ever made the ‘wrong’ choice? What happened? Could you change it? Do you have any regrets?
8) Was there a change in your immediate family such as a death, divorce, bankruptcy that caused a major change in your life?
9) Natural disasters can wreak havoc in our lives. Were you ever impacted by a tornado? Hurricane? Flood? Earthquake or other natural disasters?
10) It is often said that life is change. Having lived as long as you have, have you developed an attitude towards change that helps you cope with the uncertainties of life? Do you welcome
change or try to hold onto the past?

Now you choose one of these ten points to write your 2-3 page story about. When you repeat this process using all ten of the legacy themes, you will have a complete 7,000 – 8,000 word story covering every significant part of your life.

If you wish to enhance your life story, it can be done in two ways. You can expand upon each of these ten core legacy themes, building each into a multi-page document. Instead of 2-3 pages each, they can be expanded at will. There are a total of 25 additional themes, each one having the ability to add depth to your life story. Brought together, they will turn your work into a significant manuscript.

Richard Campbell

Every year my publisher (Writer’s Digest) hosts its annual Writer’s Conference at the Roosevelt Hotel in mid-town New York City. It’s an old dowager kind of place built in 1924 and resembles those grandiose CP Hotels that once dotted the Canadian landscape. Guy Lombardo played Auld Lang Syne there every year and Lawrence Welk started his career in the same building. It’s also been featured in movies such as The Dictator, French Connection, and Wall Street. Today it rates maybe 3-Stars but not much more than that. The elevators are slow and it has that slightly unkempt ambience – perfect for writers.

The Roosevelt has a nice traditional dark bar just off the lobby. The Madison Club Lounge is where I could finally have my favorite cocktail drink, the Tequila Lemon Fresca. I had discovered it there the year before. After the first day sessions ended I drank two in quick succession – on an empty stomach – and had to bail out. After that I was happy with one per day.

I digress. We registered and attended the first couple of sessions. Our plan was for Brenda and me to attend different ones so that we could get as much information as possible. It would have taken too many of us to catch all of them. Bonus: The conference featured a bookshop with lots of relevant titles – and mine was there! What a joy it was to watch as people picked it up – and sometimes bought a copy. I surreptitiously photographed the first time that happened.

The sessions covered every conceivable writing topic. Every genre came alive in its presentation. Fiction, non-fiction, memoir, horror, gothic, romance, traditional publishing, hybrid publishing, self-publishing; something for every starving writer. One of the sessions focused on Acting Like a Writer. The presenter was an actor who did lots of improv comedy. His opening line was: “So you’re an actor. What restaurant do you work in?” It was the one session where I took no notes. He had an engaging manner but I found little substance to his talk. He did say one thing that I will never forget. His wife once called him a charmer. He liked that until she said: “People don’t trust charmers.” The charmer always wants something. I will keep that in mind.

Conferences are important for their networking possibilities. I met many writers, a few agents, and I made some lucky connections. Phil Sexton is my Writer’s Digest Publisher and he is going to get more Writing Your Legacy copies into the Canadian market. I also met the editor of Writer’s Digest Magazine. Everyone was open to friendly discussion. There was a huge cocktail party scheduled for Saturday night, followed by a general author signing party. We had a previous commitment. Hailing a cab down to SoHo, we enjoyed dinner with an internationally acclaimed author/speaker and her erudite sea captain husband in their historic loft. We finally made it back to the hotel at 1:15 AM. It was like meeting old friends.

It’s odd returning to a conference site right after it ends. That happened early Sunday afternoon. There were still remnants of what once was. The signs and posters had been taken down and they lay scattered in heaps on top of desks covered in tangled drapes. I saw one big sign still standing on its pedestal. It was a list of significant authors and their book signing times. At the bottom was another list, this one of all the authors present. My name was there. One memory. Just as the conference was ending I noticed that my books had sold out (which was later confirmed by my publisher). Yay! That meant that I wouldn’t have to do a book signing scheduled for that last hour. I wouldn’t have known what to write.

Later in the day, Brenda and I walked up to the 5th Avenue Barnes & Noble Store. I wasn’t giving up on my dream to see our book on its shelves. While there a year ago I had vowed that I’d see it this time around. Two days earlier, just before this conference started, I had gone there to check – but there were no copies available. I wasn’t giving up. I went back for a second look. And I found it. I found two copies. Shamelessly I bought one of them. I just had to do it. Note to self: In just a few moments, 50 % of the book’s stock in that store had been sold – to me. Finding our book in that huge store on 5th Avenue in New York City was a life highlight.

Our flight out was from LaGuardia. Vice President Joe Bidden has compared it to a ‘third world country’ and it has been ranked as the worst in customer service in the U.S. We experienced that first-hand while trying to order and pay for breakfast. After a quick flight to Buffalo, we drove across the border into Canada and stopped at the St. Catharines Chapters store. Writing Your Legacy was there. Another Yay!

Attending conferences can be expensive. I’ve gone to very few in my life, all of them since I moved to Ontario in 2011. Sometimes I wonder: If I’d attended a few before that time, would my writing career be further ahead now than it is? Probably. But I might also be drinking too much of that Tequila Lemon Fresca.

Richard

Today our new book Writing Your Legacy: The Step-by-Step Guide to Crafting Your Life Story is being officially released in bookshops across North America. The European release date is July 30th. Many people already have their copies, thanks to Amazon. It seems so much easier to have things brought to you rather than having to go out and get them. I have a tiny confession. I think I was the first to order a copy and that was way back in September 2014 when we were still working on our main draft. Talk about pressure to perform! For some reason Amazon was able to jumpstart the process. I’m guessing that the bulk of sales will come from that source. Now it’s up to the public to make or break our book. If it’s good, it will survive. To help this happen, your reviews on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or Chapters/Indigo (wherever the book was purchased) would be greatly appreciated.

In my research library I have 50 + books on life story writing. I’m going to list the best ones here with my recommendations. I look for two things.

1) Is it easy to read? That may sound shallow but I don’t enjoy trying to get through dense tomes with breaks far and few between. That’s not the way I learn.

2) Does it offer a better way of writing your life story than through chronological, year-by-year autobiography?

Note: I’m not including our book Writing Your Legacy because I don’t really know where to place it in my listings. It’s too new and untried.

My Top Five

• The Power of Memoir: How to Write Your Healing Story by Linda Joy Myers
• Writing Your Life: Putting Your Past on Paper by Lou Willett Stanek
•  How To Write Your Own Life Story by Lois Daniel
• You Don’t Have to Be Famous: How to Write Your Life Story by Steve Zousmer
• Courage and Craft: Writing Your Life Into Story by Barbara Abercrombie

Five Honorable Mentions

• Shimmering Images: A Handy Little Guide to Writing Memoir by Lisa Dale Norton
• Writing Life Stories: How to Make Memories Into Memoir by Bill Roorbach
• Writing the Memoir: From Truth to Art by Judith Barrington
• Elderwriters: Celebrate Your Life by Sue Barocas
• Your Life As Story by Tristine Rainer

Each of these titles can help you explore the idea of writing your own life story. As a legacy to your children and grandchildren, nothing else comes close.

Richard Campbell

Many of us have hair-raising stories that have never been told. Veterans find it hard to articulate the intensity of war they experienced. Former addicts worry that their redemptive words might sound too preachy. Survivors of family violence do not want to embarrass anyone. Their life stories remain silenced.

My life story writing classes usually have about ten participants. We share one theme per session; it could be about family, work, social, spiritual, or personal values. At some point during the program, usually around the fifth class, the trust that has been developing results in one or more students sharing very personal information. It is often about betrayal in marriage, or a profound disappointment with a son or daughter. Surprisingly, this revelation is met with nothing more than quiet acceptance and reaffirming comments. Jim Birren, founder of Guided Autobiography calls this the “Oh” phenomenon. The person suddenly understands that his or her story could easily be one shared by others in the group. Our life journeys often intersect. The irony is that no one is encouraged to reveal such information. Sometimes it just happens.

When do we tell particularly tough parts of our life story? Many life story writers will say that you must always tell the stories – that you must be honest with yourself. But first ask: Who will be reading this? Is it for my children, or perhaps my still very young grandchildren? Would they be able to grasp the deeper meaning to these stories? Are they ready to let go of the man or woman up on the pedestal? It might be wise to choose your audience first. If the story is for your eyes only or if it meant for your adult family members, then write as you will. Tell all – with one caveat. Be kind in your words. Don’t blame others, no matter what. Tell your truth as you know it but understand that there are other perspectives out there. Each has its own truth. Do not tell someone else’s story.

Here’s an example. One class member divorced her husband and wrote two pages criticizing him. He came across as narrow minded, bigoted, and mean spirited. Unfortunately, her words made the reader feel uncomfortable. No one could be that bad. Was she perhaps inadvertently writing something of herself into this diatribe? In telling his story, she was putting herself into it as well, and making both look like caricatures. Wisely, she discarded this life story theme, choosing to give it time and new perspective.

When writing about the tough stuff in life, we need to remember two important points. Readers will only find value in your story if it involves a search for answers and healing. It must include a journey towards redemption, understanding, and perhaps, forgiveness. If your victimhood plays out through the narrative without resolution, there can be little to learn from your experience. Second, the tough things in life often make the best stories.

Perhaps the best advice to consider while writing about the hard things in life is the Alexandre Dumas quote: “The merit of all things lies in their difficulty.” Find this in your stories. It can be your road to redemption.

Richard Campbell

Taking on a life story writing project means stepping out of your comfort zone. It means trying to push the bar a little higher. It means putting yourself on the line. It means stress. Isn’t there enough of that already? Why add more? Why write? The answer is found in this anonymous quote: Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Let’s look at the top ten common fears life story writers face when we confront the blank page.

Fear of Inadequacy
Fear of Criticism
Fear of Success
Fear of Getting Started
Fear of Commitment
Fear of Having Nothing to Say
Fear of Being Too Old
Fear of Exposure
Fear of Too Much Work
Fear of Rejection

That’s enough to scare just about anyone off writing; anywhere, anytime! For each of us, there will likely be one or two key fears that stand out from this list. Often it is a combination of two fears, those of having nothing to say, and getting started. But what about fear of success? Who wouldn’t want that? Incredibly, many people don’t wish that upon themselves. That raises the stakes. Success might throw them even further out from their comfort zones.

So let’s look at how we can throw some cold water on these fears and put them out for good. Here are five ways you can challenge them. These can all be found in our book, Writing Your Legacy.

Face Your Fears
Which of the above fears are they? Name them. Call them out. Then start writing. None of them are going to hurt you. They are in your mind.

Take it One Step at a Time
Feeling fear means that you are projecting yourself into the unknown future. Step back into the present moment and start writing.

Connect With Your Intended Readers
Who are you writing for? Your family? Future generations? This is your gift to them. It will become a valuable document for them. It will be appreciated.

Accept the Possibility of Failure
The only real failure is to not even try.

Find Your One and Only
Is there one person in your network who will offer unconditional support while you write? He or she need not read your work – but merely offer encouragement and sometimes, a gentle push forward.

In his book ‘You Don’t Have to be Famous: How to Write Your Life Story,’ Steve Zousmer suggests a unique way to deal with your fear. “Pick something you know you can write without bogging down…anything that gets you moving. Before long, probably without realizing it, your writing muscles will loosen…”

One last piece of advice: You are the expert in all things you. No one else can write your life story better than you.

Richard Campbell

I can’t wait to write my life story. I’ll start tomorrow. The discipline of writing – here I am telling you how to fix it while I’m dragging my feet in doing so. I write for 15 minutes and then find something else to do. But I make it work. More on that 15 minutes thing later.

There are hundreds of books on motivation. They tell us the same message. No one can motivate you. It’s an inside job. Tell that to any number of people – bosses, parents, spouses; all have motivated me to raise the bar on a number of occasions. But here’s the point. That kind of motivation is external and it only works short-term. You do it to please someone else. But what works for you? What’s the internal motivator secret? Remember, it’s an internal job. So forget all those books on motivation. There’s something that must come first. Self-discipline.

I won’t go over the necessary steps to master self-discipline. It really comes down to one thing.

A man named Elbert Hubbard researched over 1,000 success principles and the most important was this. “Self-discipline is the ability to do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.” If you practice self-discipline, everything else falls into place. And you practice self-discipline by applying it daily, starting right away. Not tomorrow. Now.

If there was just one book I could recommend that might help you find the power to write your life story, it wouldn’t be our own Writing Your Legacy. In fact it wouldn’t even be a book about writing. New York Times Best-Selling Author Brian Tracy wrote NO Excuses – The Power of Self-Discipline and every new writer should read it carefully. Best of all, it’s available at Barnes & Noble for just $7.98. That’s a bargain-basement price for the best information you might ever discover.
A Great Idea!

At a writing your life story seminar in Saint Louis, I learned a valuable technique from Jason W. Womack (Check him out at http://womackcompany.com/). He travels the world telling folks how to be more productive with their lives. He suggests the 15 Minute Rule. ‘Focus intently on what you are doing now, but only for 15 minutes. Then stop, do something else and go back to another 15 minutes of deep focus.’ He claims that you will get far more accomplished in just a couple hours of deep focus in a workday than you can otherwise. It certainly works for me. It’s the one way I can banish all distractions from my writing.

Perfect timing. Last summer I was a passenger on board one of the Windstar Cruise Line ships. As we sailed from Athens to Venice, I had an idea. The passengers seemed like ideal candidates for the same kind of extended learning program I taught at a local Canadian college. They were mostly over fifty, they were articulate, and I’m sure they all had kids and grandkids. The ideal demographic for those who might enjoy writing their life stories and sharing them with loved ones. So I spoke with Captain John up on the Bridge. By great coincidence, a head office staff member was nearby, joined our conversation, and gave me a name to contact back at Seattle HDQ. Perfect timing. I got even luckier. After submitting a 10-session proposal to this individual, she emailed me back and suggested that we talk. During the first phone meeting she said: “I like it. Are you able to catch the November transatlantic sailing from the Canary Islands to Barbados?” That was just a month away.

That was the first of two (so far) transatlantic enrichment classes I would offer with Windstar. Because the ships were at sea for 14 days with no stops in between, it meant that I pretty much had captive audiences each time. However it was also a first-time offering for the company and there was little time for promotion. What if nobody showed up? I was more than happy when six people enrolled. Each day we met for two hours and discussed the lives we had lived. Using the legacy themes from our book Writing Your Legacy, we covered our life’s work, our favorite food and drink, the music we live by, our passions, our families, our spiritual beliefs, and our future dreams.

The second transatlantic cruise happened this April, from Sint Maarten in the Caribbean to Lisbon. I had time to promote the course and ended up running two daily life story sessions for our guests. It was a delight to facilitate discussion with incredibly articulate people. It actually took me three classes before I was able to gain their respect – at first it was like trying to herd cats. CEOs and experienced travelers do not easily give up control. But no one made me walk the plank. It all worked out. They let me run the show.

One class member had visited 111 countries. Another, a retired top executive of a major auto company, wanted nothing more than to be a chef. A child psychiatrist knew everyone in the world of new-age psychology, including Joseph Campbell, Fritz Perls, and Timothy Leary. Another had chaired NATO conferences during the Cold War. Needless to say, I’m glad I didn’t know all of this up-front. I might have volunteered to walk that plank.

The evaluations were positive. There was only one problem that I had no control over. Heavy seas. It was actually funny watching our chairs suddenly start sliding away from the table. Then they would slide back during the next roll. Going with the flow…

I look forward to teaching another transatlantic writing your life story course. That may come as soon as this November – the perfect time to get away from the coming winter.

My passion is hearing your life stories. No two can ever be the same. We may share the same adventures, walking side by side, but our perspectives might be completely different. A desert hike can be a spiritual journey for one while the other finds it hot and exhausting. In many cases we walk alone in our lives with no one to share our adventures and the lessons we have learned along the way. Our lives become ordinary to us and we forget the wonder of each day.

Almost every potential student of mine asks the same two questions. What’s so special about my life? Why would I write about my life story?

There are four compelling reasons.

1. A life unexamined is a life of missed opportunities. Kierkegaard wrote: ‘Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards’.
2. A life story is a legacy. It is a gift to the next generation.
3. Jim Birren, founder of Guided Autobiography, wrote: “I continue to be amazed at how resilient people are. Most don’t even know how impressive they are until they tell their stories to one another.”  We are all magnificent survivors.
4. We live in the present. Writing our life story allows us to look back, often resulting in a growing appreciation of the things we accomplished. We come to acknowledge that each of our lives is remarkable. A life story is our celebration.

There are many ways to capture your own life story. Dozens of D-I-Y books exist in the marketplace. For a different approach, I recommend You Don’t Have to Be Famous – How To Write Your Life Story by Steve Zousmer, How To Write Your Own Life Story by Lois Daniel, Writing Your Life – Putting Your Past on Paper by Lou Willett Stanek, and The Power of Memoir – How to Write Your Healing Story, by Linda Joy Myers. I counted my own life story resources and now have over 50 titles. I’ve read them all and these  selections are among the best.

Writing Your Legacy – A Step-by-Step Guide to Crafting Your Life Story, will be released by Writer’s Digest Books in July 2015. Co-authored with Dr. Cheryl Svensson of Los Angeles, we will show you how to write your life story in short mini-memoir segments. For many of you this can be the perfect method. Otherwise, the above-mentioned titles may serve you best.

There is no right or wrong method. Whether you write your life story in chronological order – concentrate on a singular theme, memoir style – or base it on several core themes, mini-memoir style – you will always get it right. You are the expert in everything you.